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Chapter 2

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The wedding of Prince Cigarillo to Queen Knives was a splendid occasion.

The world shook with the impact of ten million men and women doing the Horly jig in unison. A strange and fatiguing dance, its practice necessarily involved at least one preliminary amputation.

This was a special day.

The prince had finally decided to marry, and everybody was celebrating. Representatives from every region travelled to Offalfisk, dressed in their most fabulous finery and bringing gift upon gift upon naked servant boys. Soon the party was in full swing, and as the guests progressed in their inebriation, the prince prepared for the ceremony of marriage. Queen Knives was apparently elsewhere, preparing in her own way.

Of course, Milon the Assassin and Jennifer the Complete were the guests of honour.

“Here, take this,” said Jennifer, handing the assassin her handkerchief. “Wipe those tears away.”

Milon gave a grateful sniffle.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Could you ever have hoped for anything else?”

He shrugged.

“There’s plenty more…”

He took a large and glistening gun out of his jacket, saying, “Excuse me, but I have a job to do.”

”Now stop that,” she chided. “Don’t be a bad loser. The prince was following your advice, after all. And don’t forget, we do have our mission to think of!”

“I suppose that is true,” said Milon glumly, putting the gun back into his jacket.

“How do you manage to fit that thing in there?” she enquired.

“I have a hollowed-out leg. The right one.”

“I see,” she answered.

“And I keep my vital organs in it.”

“Yes?”

“It’s reinforced, to protect them.”

“Ah-ha!”

“So I have a certain amount of storage space within my ribs and inside my abdomen.”

“That’s incredible!” said Jennifer.

“Isn’t it just? But,” he said sadly, “even a reinforced leg can’t protect a broken heart.”

The prince approached them. He wore an enormous hat, purple with gold brocade. His trousers had large pockets, and his shirt had no buttons.

(After the prince had left, Milon said to his complete friend, “It’s odd the things you notice, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” she said.

“Can you remember what colour the prince’s trousers were?”

“No I can’t, as a matter of fact. But I do remember that they had large pockets.”

“Exactly,” he said. “Isn’t it odd?”